so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
