sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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