Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
