Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
they need to just BURY HIM!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
