why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you inspire me to be a worse person
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
