My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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