I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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