No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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