Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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