You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
