I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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