Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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