I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
