Why does Corona taste like a burp?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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