Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
