we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
