i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize