It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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