she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
