Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
