Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
