talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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