YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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