Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
