how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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