After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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