I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
