did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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