FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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