I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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