Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
