turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
