I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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