All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
