I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
