So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
