Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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