There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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