i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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