4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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