areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
