i would punch a child for taco bell
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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