just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
