That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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