so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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