Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
