Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How does one acquire holy water?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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