doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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