party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
