I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
