i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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