you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
