since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
