wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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