just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
