Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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