I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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