I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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