I wish I could teleport
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
