Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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