Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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