she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
