I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
