I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
