4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
