Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Pappa wants mamma naked
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
