I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
