I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
